My limbs started to feel numb and my toes and fingertips were frozen, yet he sat there in front of me, only in his boxers. He managed to cover the windows in a way that the sunlight I just came from didn´t have a single chance, no crack or chink to enter this room. It was absolutely dark, everywhere in his house and yet he yelled at me to close the door behind me when I entered this room. The only source of light was a lightbulb covered in paper just right above him, making it possible for me to see him.
I hugged myself and pulled my sweater tighter, it was freezing. It wasn´t even that cold outside. “Aren´t you cold?”, I said, without really seeing anything since my eyes were gradually adjusting to the darkness. I got no answer.
I only saw his shade. He was thinner than I remembered him. How long has he been living here? I could see his bones at his shoulders, pressing at his skin filled with ink. When did he get those tattoos? Did he do them himself? Suddenly I had the urge to touch him, to get to him and hug and comfort him, but I merely did two steps and was stopped from the sound of his voice.
"All the waiting."
His voice was cold and very scratchy, as if he didn´t talk for a long time.
"All the wainting.", he repeated.
Suddenly I saw him. Really. I could see his greasy, messy hair that has grown so long since I´ve seen him the last time. Could see his cavernous cheeks I wanted to caress and touch so badly. He clearly didn´t eat enough. I could see his dry lips and the two piercings on his lower lip and his dirty teeth. I could see his eyes, staring directly into mine. Into me. They were jet black. Suddenly my whole body got colder and the floor underneath my feet seemed to drop rapidly, leaving me hovering in nothing but his eyes and the look and everything that lay in it.
Then he moved his hand, stuck out his pointing finger and started to draw circles.
His lips moved, too. My whole world did, my guts, my heart, my brain.
"It´s driving me insane."